Intimate Travelers® are the couples who are transformed at each of the Crossroads. They use the knowledge and awareness they've gained through Love's Crossroads®to grow their relationship.

Intimate Travelers® Aid has been designed to help you address the issues that you may confront at your arrival at any of Love's Crossroadsreg®.

Whenever you find you are at a Crossroads, or know someone who is, we invite you to ask your questions here.

Each month our editorial staff at CoupleWorks.com will randomly select a question to feature. Be sure you frequently check back here at Intimate Travelers® Aid for keen insight into handling many of Love's Crossroads®.

Featured Question:

How can we better align our sexual desires? I am very interested in intercourse on a frequent basis while my wife feels less so. We have spent the last year with the additional challenge of a baby in our family.

Answer: Once a baby comes aligning your sexual desires is, indeed, a challenge. One or both of you are often exhausted. The mother continues to go through physical and hormonal changes. The father is also exhausted as interrupted sleep caring for the baby may exacerbate fatigue from commuting and work. Emotions due to stress may be changeable, even volatile. Even the best sexual partners find this time to be daunting. As with everything discussed at CoupleWorks, the central tools for achieving a satisfying outcome are awareness and conversation. Awareness of the changes you are going through, and their ramifications on your relationship life, will lead to sensitivity for each others needs and feelings. Conversation that includes a consciousness of these needs and feelings will help you put together a plan to align your sexual desires. In that plan you might think of the following:

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• Making dates for lovemaking, setting aside time that you know will be your own and without interruption. To this end, perhaps your baby can be watched by a family member, or nanny, as you explore a part of a day or an overnight away
  
• When the baby is asleep, taking time for cuddling and holding may get you to relax enough to go further and have sex
  
• Thinking of each other in positive ways, as well as exchanging appreciations for what you are both going through and what you are both doing, leads to increased loving feelings, which, of course, may lead to more amorous behaviors
  
• Don’t forget to stay romantic. Give to each other in al kinds of ways: gifts, help, loving notes, or cards are some alternatives.
  
• Remember to keep your love life alive. It helps, when the time is right, to stretch past your resistance to being amorous. So that even though sometimes you might not “feel like it,” pushing yourself through these feelings often works wonders and will make you say to your partner “I don’t know why we don’t do this more often.”